"You get a strange feeling when you’re about to leave a place. Like you’ll not only miss the people you love but you’ll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you’ll never be this way ever again.” Azar Nafisi

lunes, 21 de noviembre de 2011

The hardest goodbye

"Segueix-me el fil" or "Follow my thread", in English version, was created to update all my friends during Erasmus time.

The adventure began in Feb 2011 when I moved to Gent knowing nothing about the city or, even,  the country. I didn't have a place to stay, I didn't know anybody there and my English wasn't so good but I had my courage and my friendly personality. But there was something that perturbed my mind, a question that I couldn't answer until now.

"Are you gonna change?" 

I was worried because I knew some people who went for Erasmus and when they came back I couldn't understand them anymore. I wasn't confortable with them. I didn't get their jokes. I just forgot how to get along with them. That was the reasonwhy I was a little bit worried about my relationship with my friend.

Time passed and five months ago I came back and, now, I can say that I've changed (a lot). I've learned more than English. I've learned how to be more responsible. I've known a lot of people from different countries. I've taken care of some of them and some of them have taken care of me. I've laughed, I've cried, I've loved, I've grown up. I'VE LIVED!!! 

But dears, I couldn't learn how to be punctual, sorry. 

The thing is that everybody changes when they have a kind of experience like this. But then you come back home, where everything is exactly how it was when you left it. It is quite ordinary. Places are the same. People are the same. Jobs, school, home, parties... all of them are the same. So, you miss your old life.

What happened to you in these five months with these people who you didn't know before? Now you cannot even (do) pee without them. They were with you day and night, for the good and bad times, and everything reminds you them.

My friends said I'm the same Jess, but I didn't feel the same. At the beginning I felt like I didn't belong to that place anymore. I didn't like to be here, I was talking about Gent all-the-time, about these amazing friends that I had met there. In Gent, we did all the crazy things that you can imagine!
It was crazy!! When I realised it, I tried to change. Well... I'm still trying.

I'm learning how to appreciate again the ordinary things. I'm trying to be in contact with my Belgian family. Trying to see them again and know about their current lifes. We cannot live stucked in the past because gone is gone. But it doesn't mean that I have to forget them. We have to create our future. Dream about it, draw it and go for it.
Who knows? Perhaps, one day our ways will be together again here, there, anywhere! Who knows if one of them will be my child's godmother or (step) aunt... Who really cares about it now? We don't know it yet but I'm sure that I'm not gonna forget this amazing family never. I'm not gonna forget this amazing family ever!

If you ever hear this
But don't answer that
In a bullet proof vest 
With the windows all closed
I'll be doing my best
And I'll see you soon
In a telescope lens
And when all you want is friends
I'll see you soon

Coldplay - See you soon

3 comentarios:

andrés moreno dijo...

ooo Jess I am almost crying!!!!. You are the best person that I've ever met. I miss a lot my erasmus life. Moreover I've also change a lot.

Now I feel different, after Gent and after the university the things in my life have change a lot, now I have to realize that nothing it's gonna be the same, so I have to admit that the life is like that, but thinking that you will always be here, makes me feel so happy, all of you. We had an unforgetable experience and this anybody can change it.

I love you so much!!!!! I hope to see you soon too

pd: We have to think in a next meeting to be all together.

Jess Gon dijo...

And the most stupid too, my love! Thx for your sweet comment, at the end I'm gonna believe that you miss us and you change :P Not, really. I miss you too. You know it ^^ Talk to you soon, perhaps today

leigh dijo...

it's a beautiful text and it describes it all !

I wasn't on erasmus, but I was with erasmus. And however you guys were here for just 6 months ( well, most of you :P ), I laughed a lot because of you, I got to know my city/country more because of you ;-) , I cried a lot because of you but most important: I changed a lot because of you !

I changed my eating habbits, I changed my sleeping habbits, I changed myself but I also changed my heart ! Because now my heart is much smaller, because all of you took a place in it!
I learned a lot, and I will never forget you !

I know I have a spanish, soulmate chicken there in spain. And I know I will never loose that chicken. Because the chicken took a part of my soul and a part of my heart. So i will always find her back !
I wish there were more chickens like that here in Belgium. I already know there are similar chickens in Germany, Spain, Turkey, Slovenia, Italy, France, Portugal and Poland.

I wish you a lot of luck, love, suprises and ( new )friends in their lives ! And I wish I hope to see you soon again !!

At this moment I'm saying to myself ( and you know why! ):
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened !

Lots of greets, hugs and kisses,
your sweet, crazy, belgian friend

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